Thursday, May 01, 2003


It's such a paradigm shift. In this world of reality tv and check out aisles, this spinning sphere of moving trucks and personal space, it's easy to misunderstand what true forgiveness is.
I was talking to a friend of mine about it and it saddened me because so much of "letting things go" has become based on bargains, i.e. I will do this, if you do this. If one person doesn't hold up the bargain, though, the deal is off: bust the deal, face the wheel. Just what am I talking about? Here it is:
Forgiveness is this: in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Most of us look at these words and think, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm forgiven, white as snow, yadda yadda yadda."
But the paradigm in it--it's more radical than we sometimes recognize.
While we were yet sinners. If I could I would beat the living s**t out of you. I hate you. But we live in a civilized society. Just don't talk to me. F***ing moron. Christ died. I want nothing more than to be with you. I don't care what you think, what you feel towards me. Love is patient. Love always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. While we were yet sinners. If you get any closer to me, you f***ing n****r, I'm going to wretch Christ died Let me into your world. We don't understand each other, but I want to know what makes you you, and how I can serve you and love you better.
So my friend justified herself to me. Told me she had done her best, yet to no avail. What did I expect her to do?
Love never fails.
I'm not going to tell anyone what to do. I've made my own bed and there's room for only one. But look in the mirror, look in the mirror hard. Who are you going to be? Are you dressed in white yet? 70x7 is more than 490 or 4900. I can't count that high. Not while I'm looking in this mirror. Not while I'm making this bed.